self love challenge

21 Day Self Love Challenge Through Journaling



This 21 Day Self Love Challenge is for you if loving yourself, discovering yourself, accepting yourself, or finding yourself is a challenge.

Do not worry if it is because many people face this problem due to social media and the need for perfection.

I have found journaling to be a pathway to the discovery of my wants and needs. It is also a way to calm your mind, get new ideas and inspirations, and help you reach your goals.

Just one question each day to journal about is how easy this Self Love Challenge is. Do not think you have time to do it? It is one question that will probably take you 5 minutes of your time. 

If you cannot put aside 5 minutes a day to help you discover yourself, find out what is holding you back and realizing what you want your life to look like, then do not read this blog post because this is not for you.

But, if you find yourself in a rut, not happy with yourself, not moving toward your goal, or just wanting a jump start then this 21 Day Self Love Challenge is for YOU.

This self love challenge is to help you figure out what you need to work on. 

Here are the rules to the self love challenge:

You must do all 21 days and do not do them in one day. Take the time and space needed for each question and answer to resonate with you over the 21 days. Remember it is just 5 minutes a day. No using your computer or phone to type your answers. Use only a pen and paper.

Why? Because the most authentic answers to a question come when you write a stream of consciousness and the most effective way is through pen and paper.

Write down whatever comes to your mind without thinking about your answer. It should only take you 5 minutes. Do not pause if you misspell a word; do not pause to read what you wrote; do not pause to think about what to say. Just let the pen write until it stops. Once it stops you are done. Now you can read what you wrote and just let it sit with you for the day.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this challenge, just your truth. 


My favorite pens to journal with are colored pens, especially ones that write smoothly because it makes my writing flow.

The following colored gel pens can be found on Amazon and what I love is that they dry immediately so you do not have to worry about smudging. I do not know about you but pens that smudge or bleed drive me crazy!

Here are some pretty amazing colored gel pens: Pentel Pens and TUL Gel Pens


what makes you happy
DAY 1 – Self Love Journal Challenge

When answering the above question think about not just the big things but the little things too.

self love challenge
DAY 2  – Self Love Journal Challenge

Do not be shy when answering this question and embrace what you love about yourself from head to toe.

personality traits
DAY 3 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Day 2 was all about how you see your physical self. Day 3 is all about how YOU see yourself on the inside. This is not about what others think of your personality, but what you think of it and love most about it.

self love challenge
DAY 4 – Self Love Journal Challenge

This question is where a lot of people struggle. It is hard for them to say no to others. Dig deep on this one and be brutally honest with yourself. Changing this habit alone can make a major change in your life.

self love challenge
DAY 5 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Giving is great but you cannot give so much of yourself that you lose yourself in the process.

be authentic
DAY 6 – Self Love Journal Challenge

If you are not your authentic self all the time you are doing a disservice to your mind and your soul. Do not look at what others are doing because they are not you.

No one on this planet is you but YOU. Be authentic and do not apologize for it.

DAY 7 – Self Love Journal Challenge

This is probably one of the most important questions in this self love challenge. Why? Because gratitude is the cornerstone to everything in life.

As you journal today think about everything from the moment you wake up (how lucky are you to be here on this earth another day) to the moment you go to sleep in your warm comfy bed (that alone is a big thank you).

You will be amazed by how many things (big or small) we do not realize are a blessing in our lives that we take for granted. Take your time with this one. Let yourself go past the 5 minutes. It will be worth it.

self care

DAY 8 – Self Love Journal Challenge

This question can be a big one for some people. Some of you are probably thinking…Yeah, I am going to need more than 5 minutes for this one.

I am here to tell you to go for it! 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever you need to figure this important question because as women, and as mothers, we often put our needs last. But I am here to tell you that it does no service to anyone, especially YOU.

Today is about your needs and how important it is to make sure they are met.

(Remember needs can be anything from quiet time alone, a vacation, haircut, time with friends, time to meditate, taking naps, or even having more sex (because let’s face it that is important and releases so many good endorphins.

self love challenge
DAY 9 – Self Love Journal Challenge

This might be a hard question for some of you to answer because, as women, we sometimes hide.

Today I do not want you to hide, but instead, search deep inside and acknowledge your gifts. Everything and anything that makes you shine!

DAY 10 – Self Love Journal Challenge

I can tell you one thing for sure about today’s question. You will not be able to live a full happy life without forgiving yourself. It is just how the universe works.

Forgiving yourself is a major first step in healing yourself. Today is the day to take that step.

self improvement
DAY 11 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Today do not be shy to toot your own horn. Give yourself a pat on the back for all you have accomplished. Give yourself permission to give credit where credit is due.

If you are not proud of your accomplishments no one else will be either.

create space
DAY 12 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Space…we all need it. Some more than others. I need A LOT of it in order to function from a healthy and happy mindset so I make sure to incorporate it into my daily life.

Creating space just for yourself really does encompass self-love. Do not worry if others do not understand your need because they will eventually realize it makes for a happier YOU.

Happy You = Happy Everyone Around You.

overcoming challenges
DAY 13 – Self Love Journal Challenge

We all have challenges but sometimes we do not like to look at them in hopes that they will just go away. Unfortunately, life does not work that way.

Today figure out what challenges are holding you back and then ask the universe what are some things you can do to overcome them. Your answers might surprise you.

self love challenge
DAY 14 – Self Love Journal Challenge

I don’t know about you but on days that I feel confident, it seems that everything goes my way. Maybe it’s because I feel so good that I don’t allow anything or anyone to ruin my day.

Feeling confident comes in many forms. For me, I always feel my most confident when I’m having a good hair day or wearing an outfit that I love, or when I’ve checked things off my long to-do list. There are other things but these are the ones that stand out to me right now.

What’s great about discovering when you feel most confident is that you can use it as a tool or as an armor.

Create a list so that when you’re starting to feel the blues or self-doubt creep in you can do what you need to do to feel better. It might sound silly but it does work.

There’s a different energy around you when you feel confident so why would you not want to create it time and time again.

new ideas
DAY 15 – Self Love Journal Challenge

I love this question because it opens you up to so many new possibilities that create change and anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE change.

self care challenge
DAY 16 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Our body…our vessel…the ONLY one we get. What you put into your body is what you get out. Take care of it and it will take care of you.

self care challenge
DAY 17 – Self Love Journal Challenge

I’m hoping you already have a self-care routine set for yourself but if you don’t you might want to ask yourself why when answering this question. For those who do have a routine now is a good time to see if it is enough or if you need to add more to it.

positive thinking
DAY 18 – Self Love Journal Challenge

A lot of people dread Monday mornings which then turns into negative thoughts. Or maybe you had a crappy weekend and you can’t seem to shrug off your negative thoughts.

It happens to the best of us. The key is to be aware that it’s not you, it’s actually your ego-mind. So what do you do when the ego-mind tries to take control?

First, you need to become aware when it happens, then confront him to see what he wants (my ego-mind is a he).

Once you know why he has decided to show up, thank him, and let him know that you don’t have time for him right now. I don’t know about you but I have better things to do.

Remember you have two choices…control your ego-mind or let it control you. That’s a lot to think about but definitely worth it.

self love challenge
DAY 19 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Such a powerful question…One would think the ideal answer is when you’re with your significant other right? Well not everyone has a significant other, like myself, but that does not mean I do not feel loved every single day.

First, the most important love is from yourself, even before your husband/wife or even child. Why?

When you fall in love with yourself (and I don’t mean in an egotistical way) the amount of love inside you overflows onto everyone and everything around you.

So when you ask yourself this question think about your happiest moments, when you lose track of time, when you’re smiling and laughing, when you don’t want the day to end, or when you feel at peace. These are the moments you feel most loved.

Your answer can include the most important people in your life or it could actually be moments. There is no right or wrong answer, just your truth.

If you find yourself having trouble answering this question, keep it simple. I, for instance, feel loved when I’m out in nature. There’s something about mountains, trees, and flowers that make me feel closer to God and can feel surrounded by love.

Another time for me is every time I come home and my dogs see me, it’s that happiness and love I always receive without fail. I have a very long list because I feel most loved with all the little things in life. Things most people forget to notice.

self love challenge
DAY 20 – Self Love Journal Challenge

Today’s question is part two to yesterday’s question. If you have done all the journal entries up until now you should have a clear idea of what areas in your life you need more love in. Still not sure?

Go back to your previous answers and I’m sure some ideas will pop up for you. Also, make sure you have answered all 20 questions before tomorrow’s final question because it ties everything together.

Tomorrow’s question is actually my favorite question because it truly reveals what is lacking in your life and addresses your wants and needs.

Warning: Tomorrow’s question is not a 5-minute answer. Try to block out a big chunk of time for tomorrow (at least two 2 hours) because you will need it and it’s okay to break up the time in chunks if it makes it easier.

dream journaling
DAY 21 – Self Love Journal Challenge

I’m so freakin excited for today’s question! This is my favorite part of this self love challenge.

This question is so yummy in so many ways. As I mentioned yesterday, today’s question will require more than 5 minutes..a whole lot more! Why? Because I want you to write this out in a certain way.

I want you to write out your dream day from the moment your eyes open up in bed to the moment your eyes shut close to go to sleep.

I want you to include every single detail from how you feel to all of your surroundings. I want you to describe everything you see and feel as if you were writing a novel about your dream day. Now it can be a workday or a day off. I like doing both but you only have to do one for this challenge.

If you do it correctly answering this question will take you at least 2 hours. It takes me more but I’ve done this before and I know how important it is to write down every detail.

For instance, instead of saying “I walked into the kitchen and made myself some tea,” I would say…”I put on my super soft warm robe and placed my hair in a bun before heading to the kitchen. As I walked barefoot on my hardwood floors down the quiet hallway I noticed the sun had peaked out of a cloud and was so happy knowing it was going to be a warm day. Maybe warm enough to start planting my new vegetables. I was so excited about the possibility as I walked into the pantry contemplating which tea I wanted this morning.”

As you can see it took me more than one sentence to walk into the kitchen and get my tea. 🤣 Also, did you notice I wrote my day in the past tense?

That is because our subconscious mind does not know if something has already happened so when we speak in past tense your mind believes it actually happened which then works on making it a reality.

Also, my dream day I just wrote about walking into my kitchen isn’t the kitchen in my house right now. It’s my dream kitchen in my dream house. Get it?

This is your dream, your story, and you can make it anything your heart desires. So what does your heart desire?

I am so happy you did this self love challenge, and if you did not and just found it, I hope you take the time to try it. It is actually pretty easy and you will be amazed at what you discover about yourself.

If you completed the self love challenge…Congratulations! The hard part is starting and you did that and beyond. So you are probably wondering what do I do with all this new information about myself right?

First, just breathe. Second, look at what you have written and take note of what is working and what is not or what you want to change. Third, remember to take baby steps so you do not feel overwhelmed.

Feeling overwhelmed can take you into a spiral down the rabbit hole and that is just not good for anyone. Take one thing you want to change and work on it. Then gradually, over time, add more.

If you start to feel overwhelmed go back and read what you wrote on Day 21, your dream day.

Not only will it remind you of what you want to achieve but it will also get you excited about everything that is possible.

If you are interested in creating a Self Love Toolkit, which is great for when you start to feel overwhelmed, you can access and download the pdf to give you ideas for your own toolkit.

I had someone DM me who did this self love challenge and she asked me, “Tomorrow do we get a magic genie to make it come true?” My response was…“Your magic genie is YOU.”

Love ❤️ Becca